Flixbus: I took the cheapest coach possible from Sheffield to London because trains are not worth your money

After putting it off as long as possible, I’ve regrettably turned 30. My biggest concern over this is, and always has been, losing my 25-30 Railcard.

I was irritated with English rail travel even before it started costing two days’ wages. It was prohibitive enough visiting my brother in Stratford when it cost sixty quid. Now it costs £90+, making the experience of fighting for space in a hot, loud Pringles tube that much more bitter.

And that’s a direct train. There aren’t even any changes to factor in to the costs.

Any rail route that even glances towards London exacts a toll and demands tribute.

Has anyone coined the phrase ‘Capital Trains Tax’ yet? For Francis Bourgeois’ sake, it’s a £35 return ticket to visit Leicester, which I’m pretty sure I can see on a clear day from Sheffield’s taller buildings.

So, it’s tempting to sneer and write “when you take the cheapest bus from Sheffield to London, you get what you pay for,” but a better question is what do you get for your money by rail?

So, I’m going to be taking a lot more coaches from now on. Over the past weekend (June 21-22), I was still several painful days away from payday and I needed to see my mum and my brother in London.

What is the cheapest way to travel to London?

The cheapest way to travel from Sheffield to London is with Flixbus, which for my trip on June 21, cost £12.70 to get there and £9.70 back the next day, close to a quarter what you would pay by rail.

This is, of course, because it takes a minimum of four hours to get there. You pay for everything in this world with either time or money, I guess.

Or, I would say that, except that National Express run more buses, more often, that are around twice as expensive and...take longer, at around five hours at a time, so I don’t know.

I also chose an 8am bus from Meadowhall on Friday, getting me in to London Finchley Road for noon - and a 7.10pm coach back on Saturday, getting me back to Sheffield for 10.45pm. I wouldn’t be home until after midnight, so keep that in mind if you plan on repeating my trip.

I’m also privileged in all this, because I can sleep at my brother’s flat for free, making it sensible to stay overnight and split the travel time over two days - of course, anyone without this benefit faces either taking the return journey on the same day for a total of eight hours on a coach, or spending even more than the train fare we just circumvented on getting a hotel in London. I love living in a country where the capital city is behind a paywall.

So, if you’re to spend four hours on a bus, and potentially up to eight in one day, it had best be a good time.

Is Flixbus any good?

I woke up on Saturday at 6am to make sure I was at Meadowhall Interchange for my Flixbus at 8am. Then it was an hour and 15 minutes late.

So, lesson one, if you’re taking a four-hour coach anywhere for something time-sensitive, then be prepared for it to take six.

Other strange but memorable things happened.

Our driver was a complete sweetheart who gently but firmly told us, in a thick as gravy Northern accent: “You’ve got a nice clean coach here, so please tidy up after yourselves…you two, make sure you’re listening as there will be a test at the end…only joking, lovely to have you all here today.”

The driver seemed to make friends with four girls at the front who heading to a Taylor Swift concert, as one of them later came around with a tub of Wether’s Originals at his direction.

Then he gave a two-minute affirmation speech to us all over the tannoy. He says he does it on every trip. 

“As my lovely assistant shares these out, this is a message from me to you if you need it today,” he said, as I chewed on my sweet, recording the whole thing. “You are all wonderful people. You’re very precious and you matter greatly. You have tremendous value and great worth. There is only one of you.”

Quite a few of us clapped. I don’t think anyone was upset about the hour’s delay at this point.

About the same time I unfortunately found out the loo’s flush wasn’t working, we pulled into a truck stop for what was meant to be a driver change over, but were instead asked, very politely, to get off and get on an awaiting, identical bus that did have a working loo. The driver apologised for the switch over and said it was because of the delays, for some reason.

Certainly not like any train journey I’ve ever been on. The seats reclined, for one.

Our dear driver was right too. It was clean. Surprisingly so. Pleasantly so. I once took a Megabus from Stansted Airport to Stratford in 2015, hair and crumbs covering every inch of the fuzzy felt seats and walls. It was like being down the back of a second-hand sofa. The Flixbus from Sheffield, meanwhile, felt like it had been hoovered and wiped down that morning. And, as 6’4” bloke, I was comfy enough in the seats. I might even relax on this trip. I read a book the whole way.

But, if I could rewind a bit, something else happened while I was stood waiting at Meadowhall Interchange that’s practically never happened on a railway trip. I met the other passengers.

Not to bang on about it, but I characterise train journeys by passengers trying their hardest not to sit next to, let alone speak to one another, choosing to stand by the toilets than take a seat next to a stranger.

Meanwhile, by the end of that hour at Meadowhall Interchange, I was shaking hands and swapping stories of why we were all traveling today - or, more accurately, what this hour-long delay had affected. One lady was taking the Eurostar to Paris at 3pm. One man had a wedding to go to. There were the four girls who were seeing Taylor Swift that night, and one man said he makes the journey four times a week for work, God bless him.

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I wouldn’t normally bring all this up, but the funny thing is it happened on the coach trip back as well. I saw the man who had the wedding again and we shook on sight. Two women at the back told me about the baby shower they had just come from.

Another girl said she had made the trip down that day to see an art exhibit. She said she was interested in taking the coach to Cornwall soon. I’ve learned since this would take 12 hours.

I don’t expect I’ll always have the free time to ditch the train, but I’m going to damn well try from now on.

The Flixbus bus from Sheffield to London was cheaper, comfier and more memorable than any English train journey I’ve taken in years. If you have the time and want to save the money, tell the railway companies to do better and go a different way.